FLUENT IN LOVE

We assume others show love the same way we do – and if they don’t, we worry its not there. -unknown

The biggest thing about relationships is understanding how you and how your partner loves… It is so easy to slowly drift from your partner solely based on misunderstanding, we begin to believe that they no longer want to be with us, or they are not the person we hoped they would be because we’re expecting them to love us on our terms.

There are five forms of love languages and each of us values one more than the other, a hierarchy if you’d like to think of it… Here are the five love languages:

• WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: Using words to build up the other person.
• GIFTS: A gift says, “I was thinking about you.”
• ACTS OF SERVICE: Doing something for your partner that you know they’d like.
• QUALITY TIME: Giving your partner your undivided attention.
• PHYSICAL TOUCH: Holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling is all signs of affection.

It is important to understand your own love language before trying to solve that of a significant other, bear in mind from my own experience your love language evolves with you, it varies from one relationship to the next because your priorities in a relationship change. The love language I had in my past relationships is vastly different to my love language in my current relationship. As you get older you value different things in a partner it’s no longer about appearances and flaunting on social media, it’s about having someone who listens to your opinions and shares their own, someone who wants to grow with you and not make you feel inferior for having dreams and goals.

It’s the month of love maybe instead of focusing only on materialistic gifts try giving your partner the gift of communication, start conversations again and not just empty “how are you’s” and “hmm’s” when their sharing about their day, and if you haven’t found that special someone yet take some time to get to know yourself, create lists of the love you want in life, find out what makes you feel loved and how you can be a better lover for when the time allows you to share that part of yourself… Love is a neverending journey with many things to learn, never stop learning to LOVE.