“Truly happy memories always live on, shining. Over time, one by one they come back to life.” – Banana Yoshimoto [Mahoko]
Last year around this time, I had a plan for my blog. A BIG PLAN.
I was sure to jot down every post I would work on and when I would post them, dating all the way to this point. It has been almost an entire year that I left the U.S. and I have not posted a damn thing on this platform, I’ve barely uploaded on my Instagram or Facebook feeds and slowly began to vanish from the blogosphere that I was so adamant to be a part of.
I wake up every day determined to work on something and the moment I start to focus, my thoughts drift to old posts and with those posts come the moments I am forced to relive and I can’t think past those moments so I shut off the laptop, fade back into a hole and go through this miserable cycle again. Up until this week, I believed in the simple blogger’s block, not knowing what to write, having no inspiration and after a while, I started to realize that it was never a block, I was never short of words or thoughts, I was never without ideas that would sell to my target readers but there was this fear that existed within me, I had blogger’s fear.
I’ve spent an entire week doting on this fear, why has it become so hard to do something that I love so dearly. I love to write, and I love this blog and seeing it flourish is everything I’ve been hoping for so, how can I be afraid to spend time and energy on something so important to me. I spend majority of my time following travel and lifestyle blogs that I admire and strive to one day be associated with, to be on the same lists as they do when you hit in top blogs to follow in any search engine, but I’ve come to realize that trying to reach that level in this fast-paced, overrated industry has caused me to completely drift off course. I’ve been so focused on turning my blog into the blogs that I read and I’ve started to lose the true meaning of my blog, to write about the little adventures and not just the big ones.
I spent two years abroad and I got to experience these big exciting adventures that made the little ones easy to speak about too but ever since I got back and I’ve not had as many adventures as I did before, I’ve completely forgotten to acknowledge the little excitements in my daily life. My new job, new friends, how uncomfortable my uniform is and how travel really isn’t for everyone. I started this blog because it was my space to talk about whatever it is I thought, about a place, a person, or some crazy thing that has swept the internet… This is my platform, I can’t get bullied into posting something and I can say no to brands that I do not believe in.
I’ve toggled between posting almost daily, strategically trying to make sure each category is updated and that I post frequently on social media but it’s tiring, not because I’m not serious about making this blog a success, this is my baby and I want nothing but the best for this blog but at this point, as I grow my blog into what I want it to be, I get to post meaningful, beautiful stories that will inspire people, I can tell you the truth and not be afraid of any backlash. I want to hold on to these moments for as long as I can, to not be afraid of not satisfying the readers, to inspire them instead, enjoy the little things.
So here’s to quality over quantity…